It seems like a good time to share some of my thoughts and feelings this past month that I've been struggling with serious tropical diseases and dehydration, and now hearing loss as a result of some treatment given to me.
Treating the initial malaria was fairly normal. When that became a bronchitis situation where water was filling my lungs, that was more puzzling. Was I just too indulgent by sleeping lots to get over the malaria? By the way, during that time, I read a very moving book called, "Into the Deep" about a man named Robert Rogers who lost his entire family in a flash flood that swept the car off the highway, and he was the only one of his wife and 4 children to survive. It showed how God was in the midst of that "freak" accident, and His plan to use people to spread His grace was evident.
As I weakened, we anticipated Hilary's arrival for Spring Break, but had to ask Emily to turn around and go back to Bamako after she'd just returned from her own vacation, and go get Hilary at the airport and bus home with her. Tom was feeling a little down, too, and didn't really want to leave me. Those of you who've been with us at Easter time know that one of our family traditions is the Rice Krispy tomb and candy soldiers and ladies and angels that get constructed out of gummy bears, circus peanuts, or whatever you can stab with a toothpick to creat a character. You put a Jesus in the tomb on Friday (he's non-edible, like Lego), and then Sunday morning, the stone is rolled away, the soldiers are knocked down, and the ladies are standing there looking for Jesus who is gone. Then we eat it. We've included various families to join us in the making over the years.
This year, we knew our time would be short since the next day was Easter. But Saturday night, I was so weak yet uncomfortable that we couldn't build an Easter diarama. In fact, I couldn't sleep a wink all night. I just lay there thinking, "God I can't do this anymore. I have to get out of here. I can't stay here one more day or I may not get out." I was too weak to cry or be emotional. So Easter Sunday morning, we mobilized the Dr. to write the evacuation order to Bamako. Our colleague, Tom Requadt, from Fourou agreed to drive us, and Hilary helped me pack up my bag, and Tom's, and supervised the boys, and also tried to pull together some snacks and drinks for the 8-hour trip. She and Ben also emptied the fridge and unplugged it and got the house ready to leave.
We checked into the hospital in Bamako that evening and you've read some of those details in Tom's previous updates. One thing I wanted to add is that, my brain was mush; I had brought some things to read, knowing that the hospital could get boring, but I couldn't wrap my brain around anything that needed thought for many days, except the Psalms. Have you ever noticed how the Psalms can be read at any time, in any state of being, without much thought except to follow along with the cries of David, or the praises of Asaph? I was glad to put my mind to something quiet and eternal, after the blare of 2 choices of t.v. channels both in French in my room. Hilary shared my room several nights, and one time we talked about how the Psalms grow on you. I didn't used to like the depressing tone to so many of David's Psalms where he cries out for vengeance, or repents of his grievous sins. But this time, I was looking for God's special message to me in this crisis and those Psalms became more precious. And when I noticed my heart saying, "Yes, praise the Lord!", tears would come to my eyes, and I knew I was on the road to recovery, my emotions were coming back.
I didn't find one Psalm that spoke exactly to my situation. There were lines and verses all over that I could resonate with, but this section in Psalm 33 rang true to me (with slight applications for my situation).
Psalm 33:13-22:
The LORD looks down from heaven and sees the whole human race. From his throne he observes all who live on the earth (even in my bed in rural Mali). He made their hearts, so he understands everything they do. The best-equipped army cannot save a king, nor is great strength enough to save a warrior (or someone who's normally strong and healthy). Don't count on your warhorse to give you victory--for all its strength, it cannot save you. (or your Cuartem, new anti-malarial cure). But the LORD watches over those who fear him, those who rely on his unfailing love. He rescues them from death and keeps them alive in times of famine (or dehydration). We put our hope in the LORD. He is our help and our shield. In him our hearts rejoice, for we trust in his holy name (even when we can't find the cause of the fever spikes) Let your unfailing love surround us, LORD, for our hope is in you alone (the Great Physician).
Now, as I'm gaining strength and seemingly cured of the tropical diseases, I'm dealing with this hearing loss. Tom has been reading in the new issue of EMQ, Evangelical Missions Quarterly, several good articles. But this one called, "Five Lies about Missions" makes you think about some of our foundational beliefs and assumptions, and are they right? #5 says, "The safest place in the world is within the will of God." I've said this myself, with the idea that whether I'm here on the earth serving the Lord, or if something happened and God took me home to Heaven, I'd still be great and all in His will. That's where I want to be, rather than doing my own thing somewhere, ignoring God's call on my life.
But in the context of my sickness battle, have our thoughts ever swayed these directions? " 'Are missionaries safe?' is a commonly asked question. Missionary safety is of prime importance. Yet if that is the main issue for families, churches and agencies, then there is only one thing to do: stop sending. Western culture has attemped to cleanse faith of its rough edges. Surely God only wants what is best for me, my family and my country! When troubles come, are they not a sign of God's disfavor? Has Western Christianity attempted to neuter the heart of faith by removing the suffering and persecution the New Testament promises are intrinsic to following Jesus?...The lie that personal safety, and an absence of risk, is of paramount importance is a heinous lie that has infected Western, believing enterprises globally...What can believers do in the face of such a destructive lie? Choose not to be afraid." I can be afraid of getting malaria or amoebic dystery, or of getting my purse stolen, all of which have happened to me, or I can choose faith, service, prudence when possible, and trust. I trust God, not to keep me safe, but to give me the grace to go through the tough times with me. And the desire to learn and grow from these experiences. That's my choice!
Okay, on the lighter side, some of you have been asking how the boys are doing. Well this picture explains a bit how fun Bamako is for Ben & Caleb... Lots of kids to play with... Here Caleb and a friend have made a furniture fort!! Of course, clothes are optional in Africa... although Caleb had on two pairs of underwear for some reason this morning....
Thanks for stopping by...
Tom & Lisa
